The Blue Rose
Mission: Healing Through Art
Male perpetrators’ beliefs about women. An abusive and violent man is likely to look at women as possessions. He is likely to look on his "possession" of a woman as a symbol of his status and power
What you see is not not always what you get
Woman are abusers too
EXAMPLES OF PROVOCATION
"she/he won't keep her mouth shut"
"she/he has a big mouth"
"she/he always has something to say"
"she/he doesn't talk to me respectfully"
"she/he won't listen"
"she/he is not sexual enough"
"she/he was being like a slut/dog"
"she/he is too stubborn"
"she/he was battered in their first marriage"
"she/he jokes around too much"
"she/he is just so stupid"
divide and conquer family/friends
minimizing and denying
MYTHS ABOUT ABUSERS:
Abusers have a story, an image they have to manage. Abusers justify their actions by minimizing and denying the abuse. Abusers manipulate the victim with monitoring, blaming, undermining and bargaining. Abusers use of alcohol and substance abuse allows abusers to create excuses.
ABUSE IS NOT ABOUT ANGER IT IS ABOUT CONTROL --- ABUSE IS A CHOICE
Abusiveness is a skill encompassing control, manipulation and image maintenance
There may be a prior history of non-physical abuse
Remorse and apologies are part of the cycle of abuse
Both the victim and the abuser may be minimizing