The Blue Rose

Mission:  Healing Through Art 

  • Goal:  Empowering victims to break the silence and find their voice

 


 Because I love him. 

I let it go with
every innuendo
I let it go
with every negative, demanding comment
I let it go
that you limit my friend and family interactions
I let it go
the way you demean our child
I let it go
because I love you. 

You don’t know the real him,
he doesn’t mean the things That he does,
he’s stressed and I push him too far.

I should have Known better
it’s all my fault. 
I don’t want him to leave,
I don’t Want him to go.
I love him. 

I let it go
when he yells and swears at me and my kids.
I let it go
when I have a bruise above my eyes
I let it go
when he twists my arm or breaks a bone
I fight the police when they try to arrest him,
because
I Want him home.  
I love him. 

You don’t know the real him,
he doesn’t mean the things That he does,
he’s stressed and I push him too far.

I should have Known better
it’s all my fault.
I don’t want him to leave,
I don’t Want him to go.  
I love him. 

My family doesn’t understand, they just don’t
have a clue.  The Fights with my sister, my
brother, my mother or my father, ---
threats To call DCF,
threats to take away my children ….
He would never hurt them,
you don’t understand
He loves me,
he really loves me.  
We have a home together, a Family.  

You don’t know the real him,
he doesn’t mean the things That he does,
he’s stressed and I push him too far.

I should have Known better
it’s all my fault. 
I don’t want him to leave,
I don’t Want him to go.  
I love him. 

One beating, then two, two beatings then three…
does it ever end. Does the excuses ever stop. Does
he really love you the way you love him.  

I understand you love him I really do but do you
realize the horror You’re exposing your children
to.

Do you understand it is not your fault and Time
for the cycle to end….  

Don’t you remember those days when you hid in
the closet or climbed in my bed because mommy
and daddy were yelling again… you could smell
the alcohol on his breath and hear the stutters in
his words.

The fear of not knowing what was going to
happen next.

Don’t you remember the bruises and excuses she
use to make, When family came around or the
principal called asking why we were absent again.

Mommy, use to say the same things you’re saying
until….   Until that day she came home from work
and seen the house a mess. 

She knew she’d would find you in the closet,
but this time you were covered in bruises and
blood.

You say He loves you
but does he love you in the way you need.

You love him I know you do
But you have to love yourself and your children
more…. Because they love you too...  

Just like mommy loved us more,
     
You think it's Easy

You think it’s easy
To just up and leave
You think I want to live
Like this
You don’t understand what
It’s like.

He was my first love
The father of my children
I thought he loved us
            Enough
to change 

But now I know better.
I tried to leave once
And ended up in the 
Hospital for three nights 

When I got back home
My six year old daughter 
Had a broken arm
He said it was an accident
And they believed him 

But I know better
To see that fear 
In my child’s eyes
Told me to find another
Way. 

I participated when DCF 
Came knocking at my door
I jumped through their 
Hoops but it didn’t help
            You see
this …It’s from the knife he used
When he left me bleeding
And unconscious
On the bedroom floor

Twelve different hospitals 
In over a year… they 
Thought he was great… 
The man of the year…    

No visible bruises …
Must keep the police 
Away. 

You think it’s easy.
You think I want 
To live like this.
This man is crazy 
Restraining order
That’s a joke…. All it 
Did was bring an even 
Crazier monster back. 

Why is my 12 year old 
Son so quiet… his father 
Threatened him with a gun
“Stop crying … be a man!” 

The shelter we went to 
Is burnt to the ground
They can’t prove he did it
But I know the truth…
now I have to live 
With it.   

You think it’s easy
You think I want to 
Live this way.
He’s crazy and no one
Has been able to keep Him away. 

My last baby died
Before he took
 His first breath…
His daddy thought 
I cheated because 
I smiled at his co-worker 

Nearly sentenced to death
I had no choice I had to stay    

This is not the way 
I want to raise my Kids…
it was not cute
When my son placed
His hands around my 
Neck… like his daddy 
Often did. 

You think it’s easy
You think I want to 
Live this way. 

It’s not easy
But it’s the only
Life we have 
If we want to live 

You see he’s crazy 
And no one can lock
Him up 
No one can keep him
Away. 

You see he’s crazy and 
His father made him 
​This way